Fictional thoughts 1

Something random I cooked out of thin air. Well not really, but the reason’s too EMBARASSING TO SAY OUT LOUD. >.<

Actually, no, but it’s something which I can’t tell right now, and I’ve heard saying it like this (see above) makes you gain support among readers.

…

I’ll bet every other family is not like mine.

I won’t blame it on bad luck — hell freeze over before I do that — but to be honest I’d choose friends over family.

Anytime.

Friends are way better. They don’t ask questions. They don’t act like a lecturer. They don’t have that ‘Oh! I am waaayy better in making decisions than you and you know it so you better do what I say’ attitude.

Even dogs are smarter. At least they can tell the weather. And they don’t ask questions.

Friends too, they joke around, make you feel comfortable, and talk about anything under the sun.

Bring up something different and you are met with interest instead of disgust.

Did I mention already? Friends make you comfortable.

(Jarlson sprite appears)

“Speak of the devil.”

I muttered under my breath.

A quick turn of my head away, and my legs manuvered to a different route to the canteen.

There are all kinds of friends.

Good friends, bad friends.

This guy is the random kind.

“Yo!”

Shiver.

Down. My. Spine.

“Ahh, perhaps I am just tooo perfect. Even guys are charmed rooted when they hear my voice. Then they turn speechless when they see my handsome face.”

Oh how I envy Raymond, who has one eye less to see him with. 1 color less too.

“You were plotting to assasinate me, I know you were.”

That… snake had slithered behind and sibilant words poured into my ear.

“I pity you, to stoop down to such means–”

Rooted to the ground I was, and rooted to the ground I remain.

S”Get lost.”

“What hurtful words! I wouldn’t believe my dear buddy would say that!”

No, I had been plotting to assassinate you, to be almost honest.

That was a lie. But I won’t regret if it was the truth though. No I won’t.

S”Shoo. Go away.”

“Bye then.”

But he continued walking beside.

“Hey Saion, did you know about how Humpt–.”

“Shut up.”

Nice one, Frin.

“I am terr–.”

“Shut Up.”

Frin, who just turned out from the corridor leading to the washrooms, interrupted him.

“Oh! Ho–.”

“shut up.”

A monotone cut-in. Raymond cheerfully chuckled, as did I.

“By–.”

“shut up.”

…

so there you go.

Why do So Many People Buy the Same Random Stuff?

Three Hour Breakfast

So I was reading through Shii’s random links posted on Shii’s Three Hour Breakfast, where Shii posts randon links.

And I thought on commenting on one of them, like how many other posts start off as. Thoughts.

There was one problem. The image was painfully “Print Screen” -ed, Ctrl+V in Paint (I suppose), saved in hideous BMP, then cropped in some other image manupilation programme. I thought of linking you to the page, but like I mentioned earlier, it was where Shii posts random links. Random. If you still do not know what I’m trying to imply, go visit 4chan and you’ll have an idea of how quickly and contagious random is.

But rather, it was because I was the jester of procastination (I believe king’s taken by someone else already, and I’m not female) that I only just started blogging on 22 December about a post that was on 8 December 2007, a day after my birthday, and a day (+ X years) after the day Pearl Harbor got bombed.

Whoops, let the cat out of the bag. The Internet is so successful at providing you convinence and information that you always are too lazy to actually do something and make the final step. (I order you to sympathize with me and say “Yea! I also feel that way!”)

So, as the combined effect of that, my laziness, and my extreme faith that Shii will regard somebody directly Shii’s picture as fawning attention to Shii instead of murderous intent against Shii, I now present to you the…

… picture. Hmm how was my post originally written? I don’t remember posting the picture so early into the rant post before I unintentionally deleted the entire draft. Oh well, out of the point (shoos reader).

In retrospect, I doubt Shii will ever care, rendering all that fuss about Shii obsolete. How many times have I mentioned Shii? I’m too lazy to count. In this age of anonimity and the Internet, you’d think there’d be at least a gender-neutral pronoun in common usage. Damnation, I’m starting to sound like Kyon. Had too much Suzumiya Haruhi media. I blame Tanigawa Nagaru for all this. Don’t you just love Wikipedia? I seem to love sidetracking, in addition.

After much toil and labor, we finally get to the main course. Yum digital meat.

You’re supposed to scroll up and memorize the picture, ‘cos that’s what I’m going to blog about.

After 5 minutes, you start reading this paragraph. You either:

1. Continue being a good boy and continue reading.
2. Get totally impatient and scroll down to the last paragraph.
3. Find out two possibilities such a situation as outlined in the topic arises if you followed 1., or find about the causes for it if you followed 2.. There is no 3.. How paradoxical.

So you chose 1.

Good.

You start eating the digital meat. As you are supposed to have seen and memorized in the picture above, 32% of people bought totally unrelated stuff after viewing the “Fresh Whole Rabbit”. Not only that, but those items seem like the kind mental patients would buy.

One type of mental patient is the kind who would bring a yo-yo out into public dragging it behind him thinking that it was a dog and he was bringing it out on a walk.

The other is one who thought that he was the center of the universe and America was the center of the Earth’s crust. Of course, that is not true, but it is an obvious fact that the Earth is the center of the universe and that every sheet of paper you waste more than a hundred thousand trees are cut down, depending on how quickly you waste paper.

According to a quotation from Wikipedia, “WHO estimated that about 450 million people worldwide currently suffer from some form of mental or behavioral disorder.” and also from Wikipedia, “In September 2007, the world’s population is believed to have reached over 6.6 billion.”

With a calculator and an 8 year old that will actually listen to you, you can get him to do the ever so difficult elementary school calculations that will lead you to conclude that the average percentage of people with mental illnesses at any given time is slightly less than 7%. Wow, that’s hugh, but yet that’s not 32%.

So why the 25% boost in senile people? Yet, as you can see, its more than that. Mentally ill people won’t go buying such things, it’s only the 2 mentally ill types that I outlined above.

Here’s why.

One fine day a mentally ill person decided to go e-shopping for a “Fresh Whole Rabbit” to herd his ill-mannered sheepdog which kept on breaking its leash and running off to God-noes-where. But upon seeing that thumbnail of a “Fresh Whole Rabbit” which you have already memorized, he decides a white one would be better because “Otherwise I cannot tell the ribbit from the poop and may accidentally step on the ribbit instead”. Pete knows what tadpole-viable stomach this cruel guy has. Ask him, not me.

He then remembers seeing a bright fluorescent cute tattoos on one organic dog he saw in one of his walks, as well as those jazzy lights some yo-yos have, which he saw in a stunt show. He then hits upon a stroke of genius and decide to coat his dog in radioactive ore (which in real life, doesn’t glow visibly) so that he could find it easily. He is the first buyer of “Uranium Ore” who viewed “Fresh Whole Rabbit” before.

Enter the sane guy.

He comes to this website searching for a dead “Fresh Whole Rabbit” to scare off his nemesis when he comes over for dinner and give him a bout of indigestion. Then he sees that the skin of the rabbit is brown. He immediately thinks of poop and has a bout of indigestion himself. Before he leaves for the latrine he spots at the bottom on the page….

“What Do Customers Buy After Viewing This?”

“100% buy this alternative”

(insert picture here)

“Uranium Ore”

The sane guy goes, “Hey wait a moment”, and volia! he was instantly cured of digestion. However, he instead started to do something worse: talking to himself aloud and not realizing it. “With this so extremely popular 100% foolproof Uranium Ore, I can put an end to that bastard retard and his idiotic yo-yo once and for all!”

So the sane person bought the “Uranium Ore”.

For a horror ending, click here.

For a happy ending, press Alt+F4.

For a teary ending, choose option 3..

For the conclusion, close your eyes, then read on.

I suppose the sane guy got irridated by the yo-yo and the other got irridated by the weiner the sane guy used as a substitute and one became Yoyoman and the other became Hotdogman but their adventures are out of the focus of this post.

So yeah, basically subsequent buyers tend to follow the first buyer after seeing “100% buy this” and there goes lots of people buting the same random idiotic product.

By the way, the story outlined above is totally fictional. Any similarities to real-life people and happennings are purely coencidental. If you feel suspicious that I’m blogging about you, FFS, W(hy)TH ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?! GO GET AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR PSYCHIATRIST ASAP!! BEFORE YOU HURT ANYBODY or turn them into AndSoCanYouMan.

Continue to the last paragraph.

You now find out that you actually did not have to memorize anything. The answer to the topic of this post is that a combination of tabbed browsing, bored kids and too much money will create such a picture after being put into the blender. Meh. I should have thought of that earlier.

Yet another thing I recently realize.

The more I play Guild Wars, the more I think that it is to MMORPGs what Megami is to anime magazines, and how WoW is like Newtype.

Guild Wars

• unorthodox, with its instances and no health pots
• just eye candy
• full of events and birthday gifts

Megami

• like its name implies, there is a focus on, y’know.
• Loaded with pin-ups
• Full of sponsored content

WoW

• Mainstream
• Loads of content
• Insanely large game map
• But you still have to grind
• And the PvP’s not too balanced.

And Newtype is just like WoW, your standard outstanding magazine. In this post, I manage to successfully give negative reviews of all four things I mention. Hooray for me. Oh and the blog’s dying. Ahh, just let it be the flotsam of the Internet, so that I can frustrate more users. Hell knows, I might actually start doing something less productive than churning that piece of gruel that is the last paragraph in this blog. Once again, banzai for “writing total bull”, as Marco form Animorphs puts it. I never excessively liked it. Actually, I think I could probably write another paragraph about How I never excessively liked Animorphs, but then again, I also never excessively liked blogs which stray away from the topic and then parody themselves about it, which I am currently doing at the moment in both this post and the blog in general. “Is it so difficult” (101 Dalmatians) to create a blog that is not specifically about nothing but actually have something specific in general? Wait, specific in general? I’m contradicting myself. Maybe I should change the focus of this blog to 4ch randomness.

Currently feed reading…

… tales of MU. It’s basically an story written and updated webcomic style, and is about a college student. Followed a link to the page from some fellow aniblogger’s post; have been hooked on since. Will make a feed link if I’m not too lazy. Interesting read on how the author infuses logic and theories on what we usually deem normal behavior; the scattered litterings of sex, together with a Peter F. Hamilton’s Night’s Dawn Trilogy perspective on making love (by most of the students, of which the protagonist is not) does the story no harm.

Baka-Tsuki

With Zero no Tsukaima airing and Haruhi and CLANNAD scheduled to air soon, what can you do to get more goodness where they came from? Head over to Baka–Tsuki! There, translation of the Zero no Tsukaima and Haruhi light novels are under progress, as well as the translation of CLANNAD. You can more or less read the novels for er, free, but the CLANNAD translation contains only the script files (there’s no way we’d all release copyrighted stuff unnecessarily, no?). Also ongoing are Kara no Kyoukai, Fate/Zero, Kaze no Stigma and GOTH. So help them out and edit any improper spelling and grammar whenever you can. [random pic will be uploaded soon]

Illegal DLers under StarHub will be shovelled dirt soon. Real soon.

The Straits Times today tells of StarHub as of having to disclose consumer information to Odex, which will presumably mail their letters to offenders after. Not going to say much of my own opinion here, as this is somewhat of a delicate matter for one who has watched/is watching/will be watching fansubbed anime.

Streamed Anime from now on; that I will have to tell my mates. Urg, the next time I copy stuff from their disks over would be watched, old and stale anime, not the new, currently airing episodes that I subsist on. Or you can work under a proxy. Or Tor. Or… wait, you can’t torrent properly with those running, can you.

That would mean none of HQ torrented Tsun love/hate from Louise in Zero no Tsukaima season 2, as we switch to nico/crunchyroll. Odex leaves no Dere. Pic from dannychoo.com

I wonder when I can find Code Geass or Lucky Star or Ef in Singapore shelves. Chances are that its not going to happen.

PacNet users, shiver in fear as you wait. You’re next.

Road map.

Ahhh. Yes. New content is always good. But what, when there’s nothing in anime/manga to post about? Then it struck me. Instead of posting in anime/manga, I’ll post about anime/manga. The result is a new page called the Directory to blah blah blah (I forgot). Well, I’ll be expanding it over time, but it looks like crap now. So leave your comments on which place you would like to see expanded and give suggestions. Thx.

And so, a blog was birthed.

Hosted for free at WordPress. With standard, general formatting. Yet to have anything worth reading and unique. Nor anything relevant to the intended purpose of the blog. Nor any good, unique features nor formatting.

Just an infant.